I reread my posts. Sometimes when I’m bored, or curious about my past thoughts, or feeling analytical.
I’ve found that I feel one of two ways about my posts – really annoyed or really awed.
Sometimes I reread something I’ve written and I want to go back and slap that version of myself in the face. “This isn’t witty. This isn’t funny. This is whiny. This is just plain obnoxious!” It sucks to feel this way about something I’ve written. It reminds of me of being a helpless kid, and I hated that. It’s like looking back at something I wrote when I was in 3rd grade. Some people look at a third grader’s writing and think it’s ridiculously cute. I guess I might too, but it’s hard for me to find my younger self cute. I mean…it was me. Reading some of my old writing (not all) makes me roll my eyes and want to scold that little child. Unfortunately, this is how I sometimes feel about my blog posts. And there’s definitely nothing on here from my 3rd grade years…
Other times, I’ll read an entry on my blog and try to remember how it could have been me who wrote it. How did I birth such beautiful words and meaning? I wonder. Like this morning. I reread some of my posts and thought how the elements are those I would admire in another’s writing.
We all have the moments where we envy another person. Sometimes I find myself feeling envious of the words others have managed to combine to create such amazing and relevant meaning. It’s a great feeling when I can feel that way about my own writing.
I’m not even going to apologize for being proud of some of my writing. We all have to be good at something, right? Or want to be good at it. And writing is that for me.
So in case you’ve ever rolled your eyes at a post of mine or been moved to tears by one, just know I’ve probably been there too.