Do you ever feel like you want to write but you just can’t?
I am dying to write right now. I need to write. I am craving writing. I just don’t know where to start. The ideas are swimming around my mind fleetingly, so that I only catch a glimpse of each one before it flits away.
It’s like sometimes when I have a million things to say but only one mouth through which to release the words, so everything comes out all jumbled and I stutter until finally shaking my head, apologizing for my incoherence and starting over slowly; with less credibility obviously and often to
confused scared stares due to my incomplete and overzealous ramblings.
I’m feeling this way now. I’m feeling it because I love to write and I love my blog even though it is basically a public diary and not a place for world-changing journalism on a topic that needs awareness, which sometimes makes me feel inadequate but I am what I am so I keep writing me.
I’m feeling this way because I have not been writing as regularly as I want because I haven’t had time and I haven’t had internet and I haven’t had an influx of ideas I feel people would remotely care about reading, even though I still wanted to write about them.
I’m feeling this way because I’ve had a tab on my computer open to this page for the past 4 hours trying to figure out where to begin, wanting nothing more than to create an entry with letters and words and sentences and thoughts and ideas worth laying eyes upon yet haven’t found that starting point yet.
And I’m writing this because all of these feelings almost made me give up on writing today but the thought of doing that, the thought of closing out of my blog without written release, was far more unbearable to me than just writing. Than just filling this page with some of the words that are madly bouncing around in my head. Do you ever feel that way? The words or thoughts or ideas or plans or pictures are bouncing around in your head and you just need them OUT sometimes?
Well that’s what this entry has been for me. A cathartic rapid-firing. I needed that.