The other day my Dove wrapper tried to tell me, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be.”
Really, Dove wrapper? THIS is where I am meant to be? Miles away from my family teaching English [and playing mother] to a bunch of 6th graders? With a day-to-day that leaves me exhausted to the core? Without enough time to devote to a gym to build my core?
Those were my first thoughts, as I smirked at the wrapper before satisfyingly crumpling it up and slamming it into the trash.
It never ends there though, does it? I continued to reflect on it because that’s what secretly sage sayings on chocolate wrappers make you do, dammit.
Thinking all the way back to before I even moved to Houston, I remembered something a less hardened version of myself said to my mother.
Bright-eyed and optimistic, I turned to my mother and said something along the lines of, “Just think – down in Houston there is a group of students destined to be mine. Our paths are meant to cross and I will be their 6th grade English teacher, and they will be my first true students ever. How amazing that we are meant to all know each other in this way.”
I recalled my belief that everything happens for a reason. If this is the case, as I believe and yet often forget, then yes Dove wrapper you are ever-wise.
Then, there is a reason I am here in Houston. I am, at least at present, supposed to be here. I am supposed to spend hours lesson-planning. I am supposed to be found in a classroom day after day. Sometimes laughing with my students, sometimes disciplining them. Always teaching. My life is supposed to intertwine with the people around me here.
I am supposed to question, daily, my actions and personality and direction in life. I am supposed to actively promote the healing of my own heart and the development of my mind and hopefully soon, spirit. I am supposed to doubt myself, I hope, until I can doubt no longer. I am supposed to be scared and act despite my fear. I am supposed to remember while trying to forget. I am supposed to ache for what I want and use it to fuel my journey. I am supposed to question, then realign my priorities.
I am supposed to learn true and continued gratitude, and the power of mind over matter. Slowly, but surely, I realize.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be.