The title of this post is a direct reference to Kelly Clarkson’s Mr. Know It All. But I am not directing said reference toward an ex or bully. Rather, I am dedicating this song to all of my own fears, insecurities and doubts. I am dedicating it to any negative thought I’ve ever had about myself. I am dedicating it to any limitations I’ve ever consciously or unconsciously placed on myself.
For years I have introduced myself as ‘being scared of everything,’ or ‘being high-strung.’ Some such labels were placed on me by others enough for me to accept them as truth, while others I forged myself. What I’ve most recently realized though is that I don’t have a clue who I am or what kind of person I am. And there is nothing more liberating.
Challenging my definition of who I am has allowed me to experience things I wouldn’t even have deemed a viable option for the person I thought I was. I am so excited to explore my deepest wishes and to do the things I feel in my heart and soul I want to do. I am excited to redefine who I thought I was. And it is no longer fitting to describe myself as ‘scared of everything,’ now that I’ve gotten over a lifelong phobia of puppies, and jumped out of a plane for the hell of it.
I am excited now just to be alive and to experience whatever ups and downs life throws at me. I feel so fortunate lately for this time in my life – time to focus so well on myself. Time to reflect and play and grow.
Today, I went skydiving. Something I couldn’t have imagined I would ever actually do. Who knows, maybe this is the kind of thing new me does all the time? Only time will tell. Enjoy the pictures below!