In my American-Paki community, it still seems a sin to be a guy/girl in your 20s and SINGLE.
Over the past couple of years my parents have, casually at first and now less subtly, been “suggesting” that I find someone to settle down with.
Now that I’m barely 24, people are starting to ask my parents about me. Who is that girl with the pulse over there? She’s in her 20s? She’s single? I have a sister’s-cousin’s-uncle’s-brother’s-aunt’s friend who would maybe kind of be a good match for her!
Yup, it’s happening. I know – you’re jealous right? Isn’t this every young girl’s dream? To be set up by her parents and all the other aunties and uncles in her community?
Don’t get me wrong. My parents really do not want me to have any kind of arranged marriage. They want me to ‘connect’ with someone (their words) on my own. But obviously they’re getting worried. And also it would be rude to just turn every inquiry away.
So, I have been told that they will start passing the information they receive on guys on to me. I have been told to keep an open mind. Basically, I am being told to begin checking these guys out by the same parentals who, growing up, taught me hugging was wrong and that nobody had the right to touch these goods (NOT in those words – Thank God).
Can everyone around me just slow their roll so I don’t have to speed mine up so damn much?
I get it – the number 24 means I should be thinking about marriage. But I’m NOT. I’m not ready.
This month marks a year from the end of my last relationship. The end of my relationship with someone who went from being my best friend in the world, to a complete stranger. Do you ever fully recover from that? Do you ever fully trust after that?
So, while I’m getting back out there, I’m nowhere near feeling ready to commit. Especially not with someone elders have chosen for me. I’ve seen way too many Bollywood movies to fall into that trap.
I can’t help but picture the worst when people offer up these guys. If they’re so great, why do they need their moms to set them up? (Although I guess I’m now in that same boat. *SHUDDER.*)
To be honest, right now I’m just trying to get my affinity for white boys out of my system, travel as much as possible and find ways to live my passions…Can I just have a little more time to cater to myself?
But they’re my parents and they’re going to do what they think is best. And I wish them no disrespect. So, OK mom. I’ll look. I’m not saying I won’t hit the pass button a dozen times. But I’ll look.
Good luck trying to find someone who wants a girl that can’t cook, is carrying emotional baggage and doesn’t have her shit together career-wise.
As a matter of fact, good luck to myself…