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Teaching is like having 10 jobs in 1. On any given day I am an educator, moral compass, disciplinarian, planner, decision-maker, entertainer, mother, think-tanker, mediator and nurse (to name a few).

My students’ expectations are never-ending though, and I’m beginning to think they think I’m Harry Potter or something.

They’re young and they’re growing and it’s adorable and at the same time it’s overwhelming because how the hell am I supposed to do/know/say EVERYTHING??

For instance, today. Student raises hand. I approach.

“Yes?” I ask, fully ready to answer a question about the test they are taking or the homework he has started on.

“My head hurts,” he whispers……………………………..

Cue blank stare from me, expectant gaze from student.

(In my mind) What on earth would you like me to do here? Are you telling me just for my own knowledge? Are you hoping I’ll send you to the nurse for every ache? Are you waiting for me to wiggle my nose and banish the pain? Are you simply trying to transfer your headache to me? Shall I do a merry jig?

I settle on, “take some deep breaths,” and to make it sound legitimate and not have it be quickly brushed off, “in through your nose, out through the mouth.”

You have just cost me a little nugget of my already waning supply of sanity. Because you are not the first to report some sort of body ache to me today. Nay, others have charted this territory before you with their head aches, leg aches, tummy aches, eye aches, finger aches (I kid you not). You know what we’ve learned from it?

Deep breaths are always the answer. Always. Perhaps I should make a poster…

Better yet, maybe I should expose myself to something radioactive in hopes of earning the magical powers this job seems to require. I’d like several eyes added to the back of my head, the ability to be in 6.5 places at once, total immunity to kid sneezes, a time-stopper and just a pinch of patience to replenish my supply.

Please and thank you!