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But it is something I want to write about, so tough tamales for you.

No really, now is your chance to turn away. This post is all about my sniffly nose and red, watery eyes.

That’s right folks. Allergies. Why on earth am I writing about my goddamn allergies? Because they are currently sucking the life out of me and I want to write and that’s what’s on my mind and since my writing is based 97% on my mind and 3% on my typing-ninja-fingers, well…you get it, right?

As you may already be able to tell – my mind on allergies is fuzzy. And irritable. Prepared? Then, on you go:

Child nose

Image via Wikipedia

Allergies suck. What am I allergic to you ask? [Let’s pretend you did.] Well let me tell you. I am not allergic to anything I can really control. I can’t save myself by avoiding cute little puppies or high-maintenance kitties. I can’t save myself by telling the waiter to go easy on the peanut butter (I’m fancy), or shellfish, or [insert something controllable you’re allergic to – why should I be the one doing all the work?]

No friends, I am allergic to air… In other, less annoyed words, I have seasonal allergies. This means that Mother Nature controls the fate of my little sniffer every. single. day. That bitch.

There are only 2 ways I can think of to save myself, and neither are entirely promising.

1. Stuff tissues up my nostrils to prevent any awful irritants from causing me misery in the first place.

2. Take Claritin every. single. day.

Currently I am doing the latter. Back home in the Windy City, I’d have to take Claritin pretty regularly every time the season changed, and then I’d be ok for the most part.

But now I’m in Texas. Everyday is a new season, and it is certainly taking a toll. If I don’t take my iiiittttyyyy-bitttyyyy pill before it’s too late every morning, I’m DOOMED. This morning I woke up a bit late, and this is probably why I am now suffering [and I guess you kind of are now, too..]


I’m talking itchy nose, heavy burning eyes and fuZZy mind. You don’t know what it’s like until you go through it. It’s like a handicap of the face and it makes work or conversations or listening to someone speak (especially this) quite difficult. Which is why I probably looked like I was falling asleep at one of my PD sessions today. Sorry lady, my nose hurts. And that makes my eyes hurt. And that makes my head hurt. And that maybe makes your heart hurt ‘cuz I look like I don’t give a hoot.

So anyway, as attractive and irresistible my allergies make me, I’d love to get rid of them! As my mother keeps reminding me, taking Claritin every single day is going to do something horrendous like make my kidneys fail and cause me to die [where do you think I get my sense of logic and lack of paranoia from, anyhow?].

So in order to not die from allergies (lame obit.) I must find a way to conquer my allergies. I suppose I could try option 1 written above, but people might look at me a tad bit funnier than they do already. So I’m considering acupuncture.

I hate pain. I hate needles. But, dare I say it, I just may hate my allergies more. Anyone out there have any experience with this face-poking namby pamby? I just may try it in the next month or so.

If nothing else, it’ll be worth writing about. Unlike this post right? Why am I even asking you, clearly you’ve chosen to read all about my sniffles. Either you’re procrastinating, really bored, or in love with me. I’m going to go ahead and say it’s the last one, because who doesn’t want to feel like folks love ’em enough to read about their gross sniffles?

Back to the point – to acupuncture, or not to acupuncture?